No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
