is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
