i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
