i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
