Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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