Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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