I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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