We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize