Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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