Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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