he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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