It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize