I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
