when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
