from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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