its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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