We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
