Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
