Kareoke will never be a sober sport
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
