I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
And then he peed in my hair
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize