no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
