I wanna bring you to show and tell
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
