How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you inspire me to be a worse person
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
foreskin is a definite game changer
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
