she told me i tasted like america
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
dude. I can hear the air.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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