It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
