Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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