The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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