I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
