before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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