i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
