The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
