i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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