True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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