hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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