I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
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I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
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I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize