Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
