i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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