I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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