I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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