Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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