Nicole vs. Life
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
True strength comes from lack of pants
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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