saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize