i would punch a child for taco bell
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
