you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
