i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
