if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
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Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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