Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
