You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
