So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize