I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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