god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.