Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge