Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We are two peas in an std pod
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world