Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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  (978): every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y. http://tfl.nu/xtds
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.

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  (413): Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go. http://tfl.nu/wjr6
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

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  (614): if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle? (1-614): i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you. http://tfl.nu/6cnp
  Replies (34) Good night (474) Bad night (3754)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  where are you?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  sonic

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.

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  (404): where are you? (1-404): sonic (404): Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/pjgu
  Replies (25) Good night (5066) Bad night (528)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.

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  (908): I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me. http://tfl.nu/2kto
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"

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  (732): apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok" http://tfl.nu/q772
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.

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  (785): He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me. http://tfl.nu/3her
  Replies (11) Good night (604) Bad night (2213) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.

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  (214): Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/p4l3
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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  (610): He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house. http://tfl.nu/tthj
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.

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  (318): I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change. http://tfl.nu/zbgz
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  (347): View more from New York

  Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.

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  (347): Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year. http://tfl.nu/t2q4
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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  (630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (1460) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Bro? You just made it a target.

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  (407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2
  Replies (7) Good night (2246) Bad night (837)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I will give you all my nachos to make this happen

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  (480): I will give you all my nachos to make this happen http://tfl.nu/ghnu
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap

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  (630): 230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap http://tfl.nu/1j0c
  Replies (24) Good night (830) Bad night (2678) Order T-Shirt

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