I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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