I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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