U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
