please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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