Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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