She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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