I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
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You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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