Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
